英語笑話搞笑

時間：2025-10-21 09:20:30 銀鳳英語笑話我要投稿

英語笑話搞笑（精選10篇）

　　看一些英語笑話，既能學習英語知識，也能開心，今天我們就一起來看看英語笑話搞笑集錦吧!

英語笑話搞笑（精選10篇）

　　英語笑話搞笑 1

　　The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."

　　這個病人顯得很堅決。“醫生，我需要做肝臟移植、腎臟移植、心臟移植、角膜移植、脾臟移植、胰腺移植和……” “你為什么認為你需要做這么多移植手術?”病人回答：“哦，是這樣，我的老板說如果我這個人不重新組裝的`話，就別想保住我的工作!”

　　英語笑話搞笑 2

　　Dentist: Im sorry, madam, but Ill have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your sons tooth.

　　Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

　　Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

　　牙科醫生：對不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

　　母親：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀?

　　牙科醫生：是的。但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了

　　英語笑話搞笑 3

　　Good news: Two boys went out climbing trees.好消息：兩名男童出去爬樹。

　　Bad news: wone of them fell out.壞消息：其中有一人摔下來了。

　　Good news: There was a hammockbeneathhim.好消息：他下面有一個吊床。

　　Bad news: There was a rakebeside the hammock.壞消息：吊床旁邊有一個耙子。

　　Good news: He missed the rake.好消息：他和耙子擦肩而過。

　　Bad news: He missed the hammock too !壞消息：他也和吊床擦肩而過！

　　英語笑話搞笑 4

　　The Umbrella

　　A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes." When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written,"This card belongs to a man who can run tenmiles an hour. I shall not come back."

　　雨傘

　　一位住在旅館的紳士把他的雨傘放在了大廳里，不過他在傘柄上系了一張卡片，上面寫道，“此傘屬于一位能舉百磅的紳士。我將在十分鐘內回來。當他回來時，發現雨傘已經不翼而飛，取而代之的'是另一張卡片，上面寫著：“此卡是一位一小時能跑十英里的人留下的，我將永遠不回來了。”

　　英語笑話搞笑 5

　　The Flying Nun

　　A Highway Trooper is surprised to find a nun behind the wheel of the car he has pulled over. "Im terribly sorry maam but its not safe to do 35 mph on the interstate."

　　"But all the signs said 35," she replied.

　　"Those are route signs, maam. This is route 35". At this point he looks in the back seat to see two more nuns, mouths ajar, eyes wide open, in an obvious state of shock.

　　"Whats the matter?" he asks.

　　"Oh, we just pulled off of route 99."

　　英語笑話搞笑 6

　　After my husband，John，and I moved to Michigan from Nebraska，our new friends，proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads，teased us about the Mid-wests dull，flat，treeless land. When my parents，Nebraska farmers，visited us，I asked them about their trip.

　　我和丈夫約翰從內布拉斯加搬到密西根后，我們新認識的朋友們總為他們美麗的林蔭大過引以為榮.他們嘲諷我們的中西部平原荒涼、貧瘩，連株枯樹都沒有。后來我父母從內布拉斯加的`老家來看我們，我問他們對旅途的感受。

　　What a boring drive，"my father replied."Once you get to Michigan, theres nothing to see but trees."

　　我父親抱怨著:“枯澡，乏味，一進入密西根，除了樹什么都沒有。”

　　英語笑話搞笑 7

　　Computer problem 電腦問題

　　I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packards DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldnt solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges， and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"

　　我在惠普公司打印機部做技術支持工作已經有一個月了，有一天我接到一位客戶的.電話，她的問題我沒辦法解決。她的問題是：打印機不能打出來黃色，但是其它顏色都正常。這讓我覺得很納悶，因為三原色就是藍、紅、黃。我建議客戶更換墨盒、刪了驅動程序然后重新安裝，但是都沒有效果。我咨詢同事們，他們也不知道該怎么辦。經過兩個多小時的交涉，我打算讓客戶把打印機寄給我們，這時候她平靜地說了一句：“我是不是應該把這張黃紙扔了換一張白紙再打印試試。”

　　英語笑話搞笑 8

　　Can his football come out to play

　　George knocked on the door of his friends house. When his friends mother answered he asked, "Can Albert come out to play?"

　　"No," said the mother, "Its too cold."

　　"Well, then," said George, "Can his football come out to play?"

　　英語笑話搞笑 9

　　A School-report The father was reading the school-report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful as he read: "English, poor, French, weak, mathematics, mathematics, Fair," and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad. "Wall, Dad." Said the son, "it is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line, which read: "Health excellent."

　　學期總結父親正在讀兒子剛剛交給他的學期總結，他的兒子滿懷希望的'看著他，而他則生氣的讀著學期總結："英語,差;法語,中;數學,良."然后,他厭惡地看著那個正在抖動著身子的小子."恩,老爸."兒子說:"那沒有達到本來應該達到的優秀水平，不過你沒看到那兒?"他指著下一行，讀到："健康狀況，優秀。" 鮮艷)

　　英語笑話搞笑 10

　　Three Surgeons

　　Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist."

　　"Thats nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner."

　　"I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horses posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."

　　三個外科醫生

　　三個有名的外科醫生正在吹噓他們的'技術。“一個人斷了一只手，他來找我，”一個說，“如今那個人是個音樂會的小提琴手。”

　　“這算不了什么，”另一個說。“一個家伙兩條腿斷了，他來找我，我將它們接了回去。如今，那人是馬拉松選手。”

　　“我比你們兩個都強，”第三個說，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的車禍。除了一個馬屁股，和一幅眼睛，什么都沒有留下。如今，那人坐在美國參議院里。”

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