英語的小笑話

時間：2025-09-03 11:41:03 詩琳英語笑話我要投稿

關于英語的小笑話（通用15篇）

　　笑話還可以指以一句短語或一個小故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑，或是產生幽默感。笑話具有篇幅短小、故事情節簡單而巧妙，往往出人意料，大多揭示生活中乖謬的現象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性等特點，以下是小編整理的英語小笑話，僅供參考，希望能夠幫助到大家。

關于英語的小笑話（通用15篇）

　　英語的小笑話 1

　　1、林肯過生日 Great Event

　　Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?

　　Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.

　　Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?

　　Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.

　　老師：1809年發生了什么重大事件?

　　小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯誕生。

　　老師：正確。那么1812年發生了什么重要事件呢?

　　小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯過他的三周歲生日。

　　2、那就更糟了 Much Worse

　　Much Worse

　　Policeman: Why didnt you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

　　Man: If I had opened my mouth, theyd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

　　中文：

　　警察：有人搶你的手表時，你為什么不呼救呢?

　　男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會發現我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。

　　3、Talking clock

　　會說話的鐘

　　While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "Hows it work?"

　　"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! Its two oclock in the morning!"

　　一個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那個大銅鑼和錘子是干什么用的?”他的一個朋友問他。“那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個會說話的鐘”，學生回答。“這鐘怎么工作的”，他的'朋友問。“看著，別眨眼了”，那學生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，你這白癡!現在是凌晨兩點鐘了!”

　　4、The Mean Mans Party

　　吝嗇鬼的聚會

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "Youre not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了后，再用你的腳把門推開。”

　　“為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會空著手來吧?”

　　5、Good Boy

　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. AD:joozone_com

　　"Youre a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　　好孩子

　　小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。

　　“昨天給你的錢干什么了?”

　　“我給了一個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對那位老太太那么感興趣呢?”

　　“她是個賣糖果的。”

　　6、Nest and Hair

　　My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.

　　"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.

　　"I didnt see the bird, ma am, only the nest," replied the child.

　　"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .

　　"Well, maam, it just resembles your hair. "

　　Notes:

　　(1) inform v.告訴

　　(2) nest n.窩;巢

　　(3) description n.描述

　　(4) encourage v.鼓勵

　　(5) resemble v. 相似;類似

　　動物笑話爆笑短信：鳥窩與頭發

　　我姐姐是一位小學老師。一次一個學生告訴她說一只鳥兒在教室外的樹上壘了個窩。

　　“是什么鳥呢?”我姐姐問她。

　　“我沒看到鳥兒，老師，只看到鳥窩。”那孩子回答說。

　　“那么，你能給我們描述一下這個鳥巢嗎?”我姐姐鼓勵她道。

　　“哦，老師，就像你的頭發一樣。”

　　英語的小笑話 2

　　Where is the father?

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings。

　　"Look，" said the elder brother。 "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes，" said the younger， "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children。 Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained， "Obviously he was painting the pictures。"

　　父親在哪兒?

　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

　　“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，僅有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

　　哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”

　　英語的小笑話 3

　　Intelligent son

　　One day， the father lets eight year-old son send a letter， the son took the letter ， the father then remembered didnt write the address and addressees name on the envelope。

　　After the son es back， the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"

　　"Certainly"

　　"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"

　　"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope。"

　　"Then why you didnt take it back?"

　　"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee， is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"

　　聰明的.兒子

　　有一天，父親讓八歲的兒子去寄一封信，兒子已經拿著信跑了，父親才想起信封上沒寫地址和收信人的名字。

　　兒子回來后，父親問他:“你把信丟進郵筒了嗎?” “當然”“你沒看見信封上沒有寫地址和收信人名字嗎?”

　　“我當然看見信封上什么也沒寫”“那你為什么不拿回來呢?”

　　“我還以為你不寫地址和收信人，是為了不想讓我明白你把信寄給誰呢!”

　　英語的小笑話 4

　　Dentist: Please stop howling。 I havent even touched your tooth yet。

　　Patient: I know。 But you are standing on my foot!

　　牙醫：請不要再叫了，我都還沒有挨著你的牙齒啊!

　　病人：可是，親，你可明白，你踩到我腳了!!!

　　英語的小笑話 5

　　Kate: Mom， do you know what Im going to give you for your birthday?

　　Mom: No， Honey， what?

　　Kate: A nice teapot。

　　Mom: But Ive got a nice teapot。

　　Kate: No， you havent。 Ive just dropped it。

　　凱特：媽媽，你明白我要給你一件什么生日禮物嗎?

　　媽媽：不明白，寶貝，是什么呀?

　　凱特：一把漂亮的'茶壺。

　　媽媽：可是我已經有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。

　　凱特：不，你沒有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。

　　英語的小笑話 6

　　Does the dog know the proverb， too?

　　The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog。

　　"Its all right，" said a gentleman， "dont be afraid。 Dont you know the proverb: Barking dogs dont bite?"

　　"Ah， yes，" answered the little boy。 "I know the proverb， but does the dog know the proverb， too?"

　　狗也明白這個諺語嗎?

　　一個小男孩十分不喜歡狗狂叫的樣貌。

　　“沒有關系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你明白這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

　　“啊，我是明白，可是狗也明白嗎?”

　　英語的小笑話 7

　　Dentist: Im sorry， madam， but Ill have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your sons tooth。

　　Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction。

　　Dentist: I usually do。 But your son yelled so loud， he scared four other patients out of the office。

　　昂貴的代價

　　牙科醫生：對不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

　　母親：二十五美元!可是我明白您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀?

　　牙科醫生：是的'。可是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了

　　英語的小笑話 8

　　A professor was giving a big test one day to his students。 He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait。

　　Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in。 The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point。"

　　The next class the professor handed the tests back out。 This student got back his test and $64 change。

　　一天，教授正在給學生們監考。他發下試卷，然后回到講臺前等待。

　　考試結束了，學生們紛紛交回試卷。教授發現一張試卷上別著一張百元鈔票，還有一張紙條寫著：“一分一塊錢。”

　　第二堂課，教授把試卷都發回學生們手中。其中一個學生不但得到了試卷還得到64塊錢的找零。

　　英語的小笑話 9

　　"Tom, whats the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "Hes crying."

　　"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "Im eating my cake. He is crying because I wont give him any."

　　"But has he finished his own cake?"

　　"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."

　　"湯姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 媽媽在廚房里問。"他在哭。"

　　"沒事兒，媽媽，" 湯姆答道。"我在吃我的`蛋糕。他哭是因為我不給他吃。"

　　"他已經吃完自己的`了么？"

　　"是的。" "我幫他吃完時，他也哭了。"

　　英語的小笑話 10

　　A woman who frequently visited a small antique shop rarely purchased anything，but always found fault with the merchandise and prices. The manager and her salesclerk took the womans grumpy complaints in stride，but one day she went too far. "Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?”demanded the woman.

　　一名婦女經常光顧一家小古董店，但幾乎從不買什么東西，卻總是對商品和價格吹毛求疵。對于那婦女的粗暴袍怨，經理和她的'銷售員總是應付了事，但是有一天她做得太過分了。“為什么你們店里總是不能得到我想要的東西?”那名婦女指責說。

　　A smile on her face，the clerk calmly replied，“Perhaps its because we’re too polite.”

　　職員臉上帶著微笑，沉著地回答道:“也許是因為我們太有禮貌了。”

　　英語的小笑話 11

　　井中的開水是到開水房供應的。一天阿綱去到那里打水，卻不小心被滾燙的開水的'濺到了，痛得他咬牙切齒。突然，他背后黑川花問：“澤田，是不是很燙?”

　　The boiling water in the well is supplied to the boiling water room. One day, Agang went there to fetch water, but accidentally got splashed with boiling hot water, causing him to grit his teeth in pain. Suddenly, Kurokawa Flower behind him asked, "Zeda, is it very hot?"

　　澤田正要慘叫出聲，突然看到黑川花身后的`京子，為了保持形象，立刻改口道：“一點都不燙!”

　　Zetian was about to scream when he suddenly saw Keiko behind Kurokawa. In order to maintain his image, he immediately changed his tone and said, "Its not hot at all!"

　　黑川花聽后轉回頭便對京子說：“真討厭，今天的水又沒開!!”

　　After hearing this, Kurokawa Flower turned around and said to Kyoko, "I really hate it. The water hasnt opened again today!"

　　英語的小笑話 12

　　家光難得回家一次，決定過問一下兒子的成績，于是他搞來了一個測謊器，見阿綱一回家便問道：“今天的測驗成績怎么樣?”

　　Jiaguang rarely went home once, so he decided to inquire about his sons grades. So, he bought a lie detector and saw A Gang come home and asked, "How were your test results today?"

　　阿綱回答：“100分。”

　　A Gang replied, "100 points."

　　測謊器“嘀——”地響起來。

　　The lie detector beeped.

　　阿綱忙改口：“60分。”測謊器又“嘀——”起來。

　　A Gang quickly changed his tone and said, "60 points." The lie detector beeped again.

　　阿綱只好老實交代：“只得了17分。”

　　Ah Gang could only honestly explain, "I only got 17 points."

　　家光擺出威嚴說：“我像你這么大的`時候，每次考試成績全都是100分!!”

　　Jiaguang put on a majestic expression and said, "When I was your age, I always scored 100 points on every exam!"

　　這時測謊器突然大叫一聲，翻倒在地。

　　At this moment, the lie detector suddenly let out a loud cry and fell to the ground.

　　英語的小笑話 13

　　兒子：“爸爸，你告訴我的'都是對的嗎?”

　　Son: "Dad, are everything you told me right?"

　　爸爸：“當然，你要相信爸爸。”

　　Dad: "Of course, you have to trust Dad."

　　兒子：“那為什么老師告訴我，要相信自己?”

　　Son: "Why did the teacher tell me to believe in myself?"

　　英語的小笑話 14

　　女兒六歲上小學，每天都是老公接送。一天，老公送女兒時感慨地說：“爸爸很辛苦的'，把你送到了學校，還要買早餐回去給你媽媽吃。”

　　My daughter attends elementary school at the age of six and is picked up and dropped off by her husband every day. One day, when my husband was giving his daughter a gift, he sighed and said, "Dad worked very hard. He sent you to school and also bought breakfast for your mother to eat."

　　女兒不以為然：“灰太狼就是這樣的啊!它比你可憐多了，回去了還要挨打。”

　　My daughter disapproved and said, "Grey Wolf is like this! Its much more pitiful than you, and youll get beaten even when you go back."

　　英語的小笑話 15

　　一80后夫妻有了一個可愛的小寶寶，丈夫看到老婆每天都很用心的`教導孩子叫“爸爸”。

　　A couple born in the 1980s have a lovely little baby, and the husband sees his wife teaching the child to be "dad" every day with great care.

　　大受感動，認為太太真好，先教孩子叫爸爸，而不是先叫媽媽，覺得真幸福。

　　I was deeply moved and thought that my wife was really kind. I taught my child to call her dad first, instead of calling her mom first. I felt really happy.

　　在一個寒冬深夜，孩子哭鬧不休一直叫爸爸。

　　On a cold winter night, the child cried and kept calling out to their father.

　　此時夫妻倆睡的正香，妻子推了推老公說：你兒子一直在叫你，你快去。

　　At this moment, the husband and wife were sleeping soundly. The wife pushed her husband and said, "Your son has been calling you, go quickly.".

　　這時丈夫才明白“原來如此”。

　　At this moment, the husband realized that it was so.

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