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    ¡¡¡¡What soldiers? Wife: Dear! Take a look at those soldiers gawking at the lovely young girl passing by. Husband: Soldiers? What soldiers?

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    ¡¡¡¡Five Hundred Times In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."

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    ¡¡¡¡Not too Bad "Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show?" "No, but I am encouraged," he replied. "Somebody stole one."

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